I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
