All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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