You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
