Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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