I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We have started to decorate penises.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize