I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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