I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
