Too much gin, very little bucket
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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