it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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