I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
