my vag is so smooth its legendary
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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