Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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