OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
