Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
MIDGETS
????
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
