i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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