you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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