Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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