he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
