just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He passed out mid-signature
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
