he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
