thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
