would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
