you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm at about main and main street
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
