she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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