Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.

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(713): I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here. http://tfl.nu/xixg

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(815): View more from Illinois

I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.

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(815): I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair. http://tfl.nu/f22e

Replies (12) Good night (835) Bad night (4073)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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(614): I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to http://tfl.nu/gbtt

Replies (52) Good night (1058) Bad night (6099)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..

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(203): i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list.. http://tfl.nu/3i91

Replies (11) Good night (4629) Bad night (742)
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(757): View more from Virginia

He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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(757): He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds. http://tfl.nu/ihy8

Replies (41) Good night (3085) Bad night (4912)
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(251): View more from Alabama

As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

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(251): As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/zyub

Replies (33) Good night (10626) Bad night (1529)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower

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(270): The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower http://tfl.nu/ihik

Replies (17) Good night (7255) Bad night (1140)
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(708): View more from Illinois

what are we doing this weekend?

(1-708): View more from Illinois

I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

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(708): what are we doing this weekend? (1-708): I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/uvwp

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(517): View more from Michigan

all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

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(517): all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings. http://tfl.nu/fkoc

Replies (5) Good night (2466) Bad night (745)
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(941): View more from Florida

I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.

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(941): I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant. http://tfl.nu/bzfq

Replies (11) Good night (1649) Bad night (799)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place

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(314): Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place http://tfl.nu/v09l

Replies (1) Good night (1014) Bad night (675)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best

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(630): I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/gccv

Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (833)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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(780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix

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(716): View more from New York

It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

(210): View more from Texas

You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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(716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn

Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (883)
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(719): View more from Colorado

My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.

(505): View more from New Mexico

By piano you mean.....

(719): View more from Colorado

Like literally a piano.

(505): View more from New Mexico

Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.

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(719): My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked. (505): By piano you mean..... (719): Like literally a piano. (505): Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/b7lv

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