i just wanna soil my oats bro
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .