i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
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Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
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If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm too high and old for this...