Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys