I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
