The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering