I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.