I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
now i know why i became what i already was.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.