I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!