Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
