I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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