I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize