summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
