And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize