i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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