No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
