They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
His nipple licking is glorious
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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