If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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