READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
