i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
