your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
