just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
