All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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