That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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