I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
