sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
