I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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