It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
