Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
