sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
