I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think your dad took our porno
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize