Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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