I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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