it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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