Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
They took my balls.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
