you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
try to milk me bitch
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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