I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
